My adventure and healing began about one full year ago. I first heard about He Knows Your Name and Linda on the radio during an early morning drive to work. She spoke about providing dignity for the death of young lives. My heart was touched and I wanted to know more. As a labor and delivery nurse I have witnessed the hurt and grieving family’s go through as they experience fetal demise. I have felt helpless watching these family’s grieve for their loved ones. I wanted to know what we as a department could do to help ease this burden. Linda introduced me to the Cuddle Cot. I researched and read testimonials about how a Cuddle Cot benefits these families by providing additional time to be with these baby’s fragile bodies after delivery. Without a cooling device bodies of babies deteriorate quickly. With this cooling device parents are provided with time to bond with their baby in their room uninterrupted until they are discharged or ready to say goodbye. I was convinced that we needed this for our department.
A small portion of money was graciously raised for the funding of a Cuddle Cot, but for various reasons the remainder seemed to have to wait. I knew that if God was orchestrating this plan it would come to fruition. When or how it was going to happen was an unknown that required patience and trust. 10 months later November 1st I made a routine visit to my hometown nearby. On the way back home I passed by the cemetery where my baby brother had been laid to rest after dying of SIDS at one month of age and my dear grandmother whom I will call Grandma B led me to Jesus as a child. (I had passed by the cemetery hundreds of times from my last visit there over 20 years ago without too much thought). I decided to listen and turned up the hill. I parked and headed toward where I thought they were buried, but the lay out had changed. First I revisited my grandmother’s grave. On the headstone was a picture of a shepherd and His sheep and the verse Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want (KJV). (I would ponder her choice of scripture later and realize by reading a different translation that He completes us and is all we need. He covers us and provides us with so much more than what we can see on our own in our suffering. With Him at all times we will lack nothing.) After some direction I next found my little brother’s grave. As I stood there asking Jesus what I was doing there I heard as clear as day “Dedicate the Cuddle Cot in your brother’s name”. (By the way I don’t often receive direction like this). I set aside two weeks of thoughtful prayer to make sure this was direction from Him and not an anxious effort to make things happen on my own. The funds I have been blessed with to donate toward the Cuddle Cot came from my other grandmother I will call Grandma J. She was one of the most special people in my life. She became sick with cancer a year after Grandma B died. This was a very difficult time in my life and I did not know how I would cope without her. I prayerfully requested more time with her. God blessed me with 15 more years. In that time my children were blessed to get to know her while we lived just a mile away. He again answered my prayers for the opportunity to be with her in the last days of her life. I am so blessed to be able to give back in a way that provides family’s with additional precious time. I am thankful for the opportunity to honor my younger brother. His life on earth here was relatively very brief, yet meaningful and dear to our family and to Jesus. I was so excited to share this with my mother and father and acknowledge their son that that they loved and miss. After a moment of reflection I realized that my visit to my brother’s grave was only four days after the anniversary of his death. We very well may have had his funeral 36 years later to the day that I visited the cemetery!
The Cuddle Cot is also dedicated in memory of a beautiful nurse, friend and co-worker whom died suddenly several years ago. She held a special place in the hearts of many in our department and in our community and is very much missed. She had a bright bold spirit and touched the lives of each patient and their family who walked through our doors. I am thankful for the opportunity to honor her and her family.
I wanted to dedicate the Cuddle Cot to each and every life forever in our heart. That includes each life that will be remembered while the Cuddle Cot is being used and the memory of our 4 children (whom I am in the process of naming) that are with Jesus after miscarriage. Thank you Linda for sharing the value Jesus holds in each of our names and in our healing process.
